Digital Cowboy

I’m a smart guy. I’m smarter than most. Usually, I’m the smartest person in the room. It’s awkward and difficult most of the time. For the most part I’ve gotten used to it and learned to live with it.

This blog attracts people that are smarter than average. I love that. At Vox’s blog and here too, I’m not usually the smartest guy in the room. That’s what I like about this place and his. It’s a relief from the pressure I get pretty much everywhere else I go.

I’ve struggled with this – and prayed about it – for much of my life. It’s not arrogance. It’s a gift that has often seemed like a burden to me. I’ve humbly tried to get God’s help in dealing with it. I spent much of my life in a quandary trying to figure out how to manage it and just fit in.

Here’s what He’s shown me in answer to those prayers:

Wisdom is the principle thing. In all your getting, get Wisdom. Intelligence as the world measures it is only one kind and, taken alone, it’s worthless. There are different kinds of intelligence. There are people with IQs much, much lower than mine that are far more successful than I am at the moment because they have other forms of intelligence that aren’t measured by an IQ test. Many of them also have Wisdom.

I’m not going to get into all of the different kinds of intelligence here. That’s not what this is about.

When I was in High School, I made money winning bets before and after class by doing long division in my head while reading aloud from a book. Sometimes I even provided the answer before the jock betting against me had gotten it from his calculator.

I was arrogant then because I could do things like that.

What profit is that without Wisdom?

None. Wisdom is the principle thing.

I have two points here. The first is that government schooling set me up to fail by making me cocky about my gifts. They lead me to believe that I was “gifted.” (I was. I am. They corrupted it.) They led me to believe that the world was my oyster. I thought I was gonna be the next Steve Jobs. Being smarter than your “guidance counselors” is not a great way to plan a career or a life. (And if your kids are average, they’re smarter than their “guidance counselors” in the government schools, Corporate Dad. If you love them, get ‘em out.)

The second point is that Wisdom is far more important than raw intelligence. It’s a funny thing about intelligence relating to Wisdom – Intelligence often gets in the way of Wisdom. That probably explains why I was raised right – taught Wisdom – and it still took me way too long to even start pursuing Wisdom. I was too busy making money with my circus side shows, like doing long division in my head while reading aloud.

But I’m coming around and it’s working for me.

Proverbs 3:17 reads (speaking of Wisdom), “Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.”

Go read the whole chapter. I had a hard time choosing an excerpt. So here’s a couple more:

“Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honour”

“She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her”

Seriously, there’s context that you need. Go read Proverbs 3.

Bottom line: I find myself now very happily and voluntarily following people that almost certainly don’t have IQs in the same category as mine. But they have Wisdom that I want.

I respect that far more than the eggheads that think college degrees make them smart.

Proverbs 3 (AMP) ends with “The wise shall inherit glory (all honor and good) but shame is the highest rank conferred on [self-confident] fools.”

I know a lot of wise people with low IQs and even more very intelligent, self-confident fools. I used to be one myself.

I’ve said nothing here recently and probably won’t soon.  There’s too much to say. Respect for the privacy of others prevents me from saying most of what I would like to.

I’ll tell you quickly that the legal conflict is over and I picked up my daughters last Tuesday morning. We’ve been home since Wednesday night. We had a hearing in court last Monday afternoon in Augusta, GA and it went exactly as I had declared in prayer that it would.  No surprises there. (I wanted to make that public because so many have expressed concern and I appreciate that more than you know.)

That’s good news, but it was expected – at least by me.  There’s far, far better news that was surprising to me.  I’ve expected it all along but I wasn’t expecting it now.  I knew that I knew that I knew…  I didn’t know when.  So it was a pleasant surprise Tuesday morning.  It’s also the part I can’t write about here yet.

In January of 2003, an atheist issued a challenge to me: “When [things go the way I predict] and you don’t get what you are praying for will you admit that your God doesn’t exist and prayer is a foolish waste of time?”

I replied, “Certainly.  But only on the condition that when [things go the way I predict], you’ll bow before my God and admit that He answers prayer.”

He accepted.

I’m currently holding my breath while waiting for that admission. Resuscitate me when it comes.

I don’t bring this up to boast about winning a bet.  I point it out to brag on my God.  He answers prayer and He does so every single time.  I had pastors tell me that I was nuts and should give up.  The more time that went by, the less I told “new” people in my life about what I was believing for.  ”It’s been HOW LONG?!?!”  ”Oh, Honey, you need to move on.”

Patience is hard.  It can also be lonely – almost everyone thinks you’re crazy.  I speak from experience.  But don’t you ever let anyone move you off your dream.  If you have a Word from God and even if you’re the only one that believes it, anything is possible. When you serve at the feet of Love.

You’ll never find anyone remembered as great in the Bible that took a poll or allowed themselves to be influenced by popular opinion and general consensus. What you find over and over and over are courageous people that refused to be moved, acted alone in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds and we now consider them great because of their faith. (Recommended reading starts in Hebrews 11 and the part about Abraham in Romans 4 is a next step.) Whenever you find yourself in agreement with the majority in any situation, it’s time to re-examine your premises.

“Never” rarely lives up to its hype. It’s not over ’til it’s written in stone. On a grave.

I’m not even completely convinced that it’s always over then.

I’m currently fighting yet another legal battle. This time it’s in two states, a thousand miles apart, to get my children back from a kidnapper.  I offered visitation to which my children’s mother was not entitled and then gave her gas money to get home because she “didn’t budget for the horrible gas mileage” she got on her trip to get them.  (I’ve had custody for nearly four years and she’s never paid a dime in child support, by the way.)

My reward was that I was served with papers 8 hours before I was to leave to drive 1000 miles to get my children.  The papers informed me that I no longer had custody of my daughters.  A Georgia judge that has never met me, my children or their mother gave her the benefit of the doubt when her newest attorney alleged a whole slew of things she has tried – and failed twice – to convince a Texas court that I’m doing… or not doing.  She has no evidence and thus presented no evidence.

What she’s done is a violation of Federal law – forum shopping across state lines.  She could do time for it.  I pray that doesn’t happen.  I wish her well, to say the least.

But, it’s not just me.  I have a friend that has been attacked over the legal custody of his daughter.  In his case, he was never married to her mother and she surrendered custody – in writing – in the hospital at the child’s birth.  The child is now seven years old and her “mother” has never been anything but an occasional visitor in her life.  The child has been raised by her father who places her above every other priority in his life.

Yet another acquaintance – a single father in my church – has recently been accused of horrible things by his recently teenaged daughter.  The girl has been a rebellious child for the last year or so to the point of being violent towards him.  The child’s mother is a known prostitute and drug dealer. She lives with drug dealers.  With one call to Child Protective Services, she temporarily over-rode court orders and terminated his parental rights (temporarily).  When CPS started investigating, they discovered multiple warrants for arrest for the mother and others living in her house.  With the children.  There is also great natural evidence that the teenage daughter’s story is fabricated.

But he is still fighting to exonerate himself and get his children back.  He’s considered guilty until proven innocent.  Because it’s all for THE CHILDREN!

A caring friend recently asked me if she and the rest of The Body of Christ had been, and were, letting “you” down.  By “you” she meant single fathers.

I responded, “I don’t think so, but I’ve never thought about it in those terms.  I can tell you this:  Being a single father is a far, far more difficult experience than being a single mother.  I never whine about it and I’m only talking about it now because you asked me.  But the fact is that everyone respects and admires the struggle of a single mother.  Everyone feels sorry for her and has sympathy.  Single fathers are looked upon by most of our society as freaks at best and perverts at worst.  We’re always suspects and we’re always vulnerable to wild allegations from any source.”

I’m not interested here in pointing fingers or going on a rant.  But I want to say that the tables have been turned by feminism (defined properly here as:  anyone with a uterus shall be permitted anything her emotions or hormones dictate but shall never have responsibility for anything) and it’s not a good thing for THE CHILDREN!!!!!  I only appeal to that because it’s true and nobody gives a damn about men.

When I was growing up in the 70′s it seemed that most divorces were because selfish men left their families. That was probably true – then – and certainly awful.  But now feminism has turned the tables completely.

Women have become selfish.  (I think they call it “empowered.”)  ”No fault” divorces are now initiated by women more often than men, by a large margin.  (There’s no such thing as a “no-fault divorce.”  If you’re initiating it without a reason, YOU are at fault.)  Both the society and the courts generally justify the childishness of these women while at the same time both of the former are still stuck in the prejudice of the 50′s, 60′s and 70′s.  As a result, we have an entire generation of men that are doing their best to raise children alone.  Yet they are viewed as undeserving victors when they get custody and then they are under constant scrutiny, always vulnerable to as little as a phone call or a court filing to upset their lives and the lives of the children for which they are working so hard to provide stability.

I’m not optimistic that government will ever fix this.  It’s never done anything else worth while.  So maybe my friend was on to something.

Maybe The Body of Christ needs to be more aware and attentive to this.

There’s definitely a need.

This would be funny if it weren’t about a contest for “leader of the free world.”

I’m no fan of feminism but I’m also no sexist. I personally believe that women are inherently stronger then men in most ways and capable of almost anything. But I also believe that 40+ years of feminism in this country has deterioriated the character of women even more than the damage its done to men. (Proverbs 31 has an outline on proper femininity if any of you need a refresher course.)

Hillary Rodman is a perfect example of the mess feminism has made. She’s incompetent and pathetic. She’s a spoiled, suburban, upper-middle class little girl that is chasing her Barbie dreams with an immature and childish sense of entitlement.

She’s surrounded herself for decades with sycophantic womyn just like her. (I include both Bill Rodman-Clinton and Mark Penn in that category.) The result is chaos and disorder everywhere she goes and in everything she does. None of them have a single clue about anything that matters and not a one of them cares about anything but their own childish, petty desire for control.

Don’t take my word for it. Here’s her new campaign manager:

“You may not like the person next to you,” Ms. Williams told dozens of aides who ringed the conference room at the campaign’s Virginia headquarters last month, according to participants. “But you’re going to respect them. And we’re going to work together.”

Or?

What ya got backing that up, Sally Big Britches? We all know you’re afraid of guns.

God help us if that monster manages to conjure public tears enough times to get control of the White House. Billy’s eight embarrassing years will become like a reflection on American pride in comparison.

I foolishly taught my girls the stupid, redneck saying, “See ya! Wouldn’t wanna be ya!”

A few days ago, on a beautiful day, they were running out the door to play and Emily said, as she was closing the door, “See ya!” The door slammed and then opened again. She stuck (just) her head back in and said, “Wouldn’t wanna be ya!” Door slammed again. Opened again and she stuck just her head in again and, with a very different tone, said, “I really wouldn’t wanna be you, Daddy. Know why?”

“Why, Honey?” (I said in a patronizing tone. I was busy. I just wanted them to go play.)

“‘Cause you work too much. (pause) I’m going to play now. You should play more, Daddy. I hope I don’t have to work as much as you when I grow up.”

And then the door slammed again. And she was gone?

I wept when the door slammed and I can’t write this post without weeping.

“And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon….”

That child is precocious. Memories flooded back. I have vivid memories of often laying in my bed at night when I was supposed to have been asleep hours before. Watching my Dad in the kitchen when the Johnny Carson monologue was over. (My bedroom door was always open and my doorway faced the hall.) He was getting ready to go to bed and had to be up early. He worked as hard as any man I’ve ever known.

Even then, as a very small child, I saw how hard he worked for us. At least once I prayed, “God, please don’t make me grow up. I can’t do that.”

Then he died young. That’s another story.

As I got older, I swore I would never do it. I was going to be rich! I didn’t care what it took or how much it cost or what I had to do. But I eventually realized that the people that get rich the world’s way neglect their families worse than those who, like my Dad, just work so hard to provide that they don’t have time.

Now I’ve found a third way. The right way.

“The Blessing of the Lord makes me rich and He adds no sorrow with it.” – Prov. 10:22
“Seek ye first the Kingdom and His righteousness…” Matt. 6:33

I am working hard but it’s a short-term commitment. I’ve found a better way. My daughters will never have to work. They’ll always have a good reason to. So they will only work in freedom, when, where, how and at what they choose.

If you wonder where this came from…. I turned 37 yesterday. My Dad was dead at 37 (anniversary… a couple days, too close to my birthday). I’m not the slightest superstitious. If he knew then what I know now, he would still be here and I have no fear at all. It’s not about that.

But a kid that lost his Dad at 12 can’t possibly avoid remembering the greatest man he ever knew on this birthday, especially when the anniversary of his going home is coming up soon, too.

I can’t wait to see him again.

“… When ya coming home son?”

“I don’t know when, Dad. We’ll get together then.

“Ya know we’ll have a good time then.”

And I’ve got two beautiful little ladies that are looking forward to meeting their grandfather, too.