“Don’t let diarrhea slow YOU down!”
February 22nd, 2009Who? Me?!? What?!? I’m not slow. What’re you talking about?
Oh, don’t mind us. We’re just schlepping a pill for something we made up. Are you slowed down by diarrhea?
Seriously. Have you ever been “slowed down” by diarrhea? Do you know anybody that ever has been? Do you know anybody that knows anybody that ever has been? Do you know anybody that knows anybody that’s actually ever heard the rest of that commercial?
I haven’t and it’s not even, really, the Beavis (and Heidi) thing. It’s how ridiculously preposterous it is and how serious they make it sound.
Look into that and get back to me. I’m working on a very important expo-zay and I think I might be able to get Michael Moore on board but only with YOUR very crucial input! You must act now!
I’m going to work on avoiding laughter long enough to figure what they’re advertising.
Call now and I’ll double your order! You just pay separate processing and shipping!
(And, by the way, if this really is a problem for you, please accept “laugh here” instead of an apology and realize that that particular medication doesn’t require advertisement. If you need it, you’ll surely seek it out.)
In my experience, diarrhea doesn’t “SLOW” me down but rather makes me move much, much, much faster.
Not that I have extensive experience in this arena but, well, you know…
Besides. It’s a gastrointestinal CRISIS! And everyone must be afraid of a crisis.
Is that the best you can do?
I don’t expect you to know how to whore like a White House occupant, but Barry said that word 26 times in one speech a couple days ago.
Surely you can do better than two.
I mean, he’s been whoring his entire life and has made it a way of life. I’m certainly not comparing you to him in any way, shape or form.
I’m just saying that wasn’t even an Occidental College try.
(I almost forgot: Diarrhea is a crisis that will become a catastrophe if you don’t bow to the Magic Negro.)
We must fear the crisis because until we understand the crisis of being in crisis we will always underestimate the critical nature of the crisis and the downfall of the entire nation will rest upon our shoulders. Which is it’s own crisis and of far greater importance than the crisis I talked of before which is reaching critical mass at a catastrophic rate. So therefore we must take all our resources and apply them to the crisis at hand or we shall find ourselves at a crisis point and will be lacking the necessary assets to change. And if there is no impetus to change, then we have found ourselves in yet another crisis point verging on catastrophic and quite possibly of neolithic proportion.
And that would be bad.
Better?
Heidi, that’s so ‘good’ methinks you’ve been taking lessons from The One. :)
That’s much, much better.
You even squeezed in the word “impetus” and I’ll bet you ten dollars that Barry can’t define it without asking an advisor.
I’m surprised you weren’t out there protesting with the New American Tea Party people in Dallas. I’m actually going to go the next time they rally in Austin!
Dude. I agree with what you’re saying We got us a big ship going the wrong direction. It’s worth the effort to try to correct that direction.
I’m absolutely certain that yelling, “nigger” at it won’t work. Whether it’s right or wrong is of no moment. What matters is whether it will produce desirable results. It won’t.
A plan for desirable results is needed.