Digital Cowboy

Fuck it. It’s Christmas or something spelled that way. I fixed it. I have powers.

Damn I’m clever!

I also have a very, very pretty and very, very valuable watch. It’s a Christmas gift so I really wanna keep it private… Because I don’t do Christmas. But it’s Swiss, mechanical and solid two-tone ionic-black and stainless. (That’s just the private part.)

It’s also a chronograph with a black mother of pearl face. (Don’t tell anyone I divulged the public part.)

Besides that… Do you think that the gifts will get even MORE expensive the more offended I become and the more “Christmas” facts I drop?

I think I’m on to something.

Dude, you gotta see this watch my Mom got me! It’s a 22 jewel movement and the back is, like totally transparent so you can count, like, some of the jewels and see gears moving and stuff. It must be expensive.

And Joseph was a rich man because he was already a successful carpenter. That’s WHY he was going TO PAY TAXES. Poor people weren’t packing the hotels the night our savior was born, stupid. The town was full. No room at the inn. What’s the crowd? Poor people don’t owe taxes. (Just ask your “middle class” neighbor. He’ll say, “I didn’t owe, this year! I got a REFUND, ESSE!”)

Because the government made all the people come to town on the same night. What did they think would happen? That’s what government does – collect taxes with force and create problems doing it.

That’s the lesson of Christmas. Without government complicating things there would always be room for the least among us. Even wealthy carpenters that are foolish enough to marry a pregnant virgin and pay her way to travel with him so he could pay his taxes in the midst of his other troubles can find himself with no rooms at the Hilton.

Should a savior be born in a stable?

Here’s a better question:

Should we allow our savior or his parents to be represented as “poor?”

Clearly, none of them ever were.