Digital Cowboy

Digital Cowboy
Poker is life. Life is poker.

Archive for May, 2008

Living a dream

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

I’m living a dream.

I mean that literally. Like many people, I’ve thrown that phrase around loosely at times. This time I’m not using it as a rhetorical device. It’s not a euphemism, a metaphor, a figure of speech or hyperbole.

I mean it in the sense that the last couple of mornings I’ve awakened with a feeling of trepidation because I’ve actually had this particular dream quite a few times in the past few years only to wake up and face the crushing realization that it was only that – a dream. It always seemed so real. Whenever that happened the day that followed was always rough.

So these last couple mornings, I have laid partially awake for a few minutes until I made sure I was fully awake. Each morning I’ve thought to myself, “Not again! I can’t take this again!”

Then I realize she really is standing there. She really did just walk into the bathroom. This isn’t a dream. It’s the rest of my life. It’s really Her. Here. Really.

It’s my family all under one roof. It really was my whole family at the church picnic Sunday. Together.

It’s really me saying, “Time for bed. Give Mommy goodnight loving.” And then hearing Her say, “Give your Daddy goodnight loving and get in the bed, girls.”

It’s really Her sitting next to me on the couch after the kids are in bed, the two of us laughing at a stupid comedy on DVD like we’re foolish teenagers on a second date.

It’s really Her asking, “What do you want for supper?” and me saying, “Ehhh. You don’t need to cook. Let’s just go out for dinner.” It’s really my whole family having so much fun laughing with each other at Chili’s that I think we’re probably annoying those around us. And not caring.

It’s a miracle and I’m living it. The biggest challenge I face in it is trying not to get caught staring slack-jawed at her all the time. Not only is it wonderfully surreal to have her home, she’s even more beautiful than she was when I met her ten years ago.

My God answers prayer and He does it exceedingly, abundantly above all you can ask or think. He doesn’t just patch up and repair things, either. He restores. That makes all the difference in the world.


Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

I’ve been listening to this song over and over tonight. It’s amazingly appropriate for my current situation and – no kiddin’ – I’ve had it for months in my iTunes library and had never listened to it once until I stumbled across it accidentally tonight.

I don’t know how The Red Rocker does it; it seems like no matter what I’m going through in my life – good or bad – he’s already recorded lyrics that match, years ago.

The relevant part of this one is:

Tell me now, tell me like it is.
No one has to give.
Amnesty is granted.
And what’s done is done.
For everyone.
Come on baby I want to start again.
Right now.
Amnesty is granted.

And I think a lot.
Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot.
I’ve been thinking about you baby.
Lord knows I’ve been thinking a lot.

I’ve been thinking love should last forever.
Been growing tired of feeling like I do.
Oh yeah
There’s a time, and there’s a place.
A change of heart, about face.
It’s about love, it’s about forgiveness.
It’s about our destiny.

Tell me now, tell me like it is.
‘Cause no one has to give.
Amnesty is granted.

Yeah. What he said. What’s done is done. For everyone. It’s about love. It’s about forgiveness. It’s about our destiny. C’mon, baby. I wanna start again. Right now.

(If you have the time and can, click the link and listen. You can’t get the power of the song reading an excerpt of the lyrics. Sammy’s voice adds very necessary passion to the words. Then go to iTunes and buy some of Sammy’s music so he doesn’t sue me – This is a promotional link. };-))

Intelligence vs. Wisdom

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

I’m a smart guy. I’m smarter than most. Usually, I’m the smartest person in the room. It’s awkward and difficult most of the time. For the most part I’ve gotten used to it and learned to live with it.

This blog attracts people that are smarter than average. I love that. At Vox’s blog and here too, I’m not usually the smartest guy in the room. That’s what I like about this place and his. It’s a relief from the pressure I get pretty much everywhere else I go.

I’ve struggled with this – and prayed about it – for much of my life. It’s not arrogance. It’s a gift that has often seemed like a burden to me. I’ve humbly tried to get God’s help in dealing with it. I spent much of my life in a quandary trying to figure out how to manage it and just fit in.

Here’s what He’s shown me in answer to those prayers:

Wisdom is the principle thing. In all your getting, get Wisdom. Intelligence as the world measures it is only one kind and, taken alone, it’s worthless. There are different kinds of intelligence. There are people with IQs much, much lower than mine that are far more successful than I am at the moment because they have other forms of intelligence that aren’t measured by an IQ test. Many of them also have Wisdom.

I’m not going to get into all of the different kinds of intelligence here. That’s not what this is about.

When I was in High School, I made money winning bets before and after class by doing long division in my head while reading aloud from a book. Sometimes I even provided the answer before the jock betting against me had gotten it from his calculator.

I was arrogant then because I could do things like that.

What profit is that without Wisdom?

None. Wisdom is the principle thing.

I have two points here. The first is that government schooling set me up to fail by making me cocky about my gifts. They lead me to believe that I was “gifted.” (I was. I am. They corrupted it.) They led me to believe that the world was my oyster. I thought I was gonna be the next Steve Jobs. Being smarter than your “guidance counselors” is not a great way to plan a career or a life. (And if your kids are average, they’re smarter than their “guidance counselors” in the government schools, Corporate Dad. If you love them, get ‘em out.)

The second point is that Wisdom is far more important than raw intelligence. It’s a funny thing about intelligence relating to Wisdom – Intelligence often gets in the way of Wisdom. That probably explains why I was raised right – taught Wisdom – and it still took me way too long to even start pursuing Wisdom. I was too busy making money with my circus side shows, like doing long division in my head while reading aloud.

But I’m coming around and it’s working for me.

Proverbs 3:17 reads (speaking of Wisdom), “Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.”

Go read the whole chapter. I had a hard time choosing an excerpt. So here’s a couple more:

“Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honour”

“She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her”

Seriously, there’s context that you need. Go read Proverbs 3.

Bottom line: I find myself now very happily and voluntarily following people that almost certainly don’t have IQs in the same category as mine. But they have Wisdom that I want.

I respect that far more than the eggheads that think college degrees make them smart.

Proverbs 3 (AMP) ends with “The wise shall inherit glory (all honor and good) but shame is the highest rank conferred on [self-confident] fools.”

I know a lot of wise people with low IQs and even more very intelligent, self-confident fools. I used to be one myself.