Digital Cowboy

Let’s continue this thing about education since it seems to draw out the very ignorant people I’m talking about.

Medical science is neither medical or science. My father was diagnosed with colon cancer when he was 32. The problems are:

1) He had been complaining to his doctor about the symptoms for YEARS and the prescription he got was Preparation H.

2) When the retards finally diagnosed the problem correctly, they proceeded to kill him.

He was dead by 37. They saw to it.

That wasn’t a misstatement. Cancer did not kill my father. Arrogant doctors trying to treat it did. He died of pneumonia because their ridiculous “chemotherapy” and radiation treatments destroyed his immune system.

The sick part is that they are still doing it to people today. Stupid doesn’t learn.

That’s not my only source of data. I’ve also worked in two hospitals and did a stint selling BMW’s. I’ve encountered many doctors in many settings and I’ve been able to clearly conclude that most of them are idiots. A lot of them can’t even balance their checkbooks.

Run like hell from doctors in America. They’re almost all stupid. (From what I’ve seen, most of them are greedy and selfish, too.)

And isn’t that the most important reason for “education”?

Baudork, you’re what I grind out in my ashtray.

Most everyone who works for the government is stupid and they don’t know it. They’re mostly all educated. That’s why they don’t know they’re stupid. High education is mostly a club for the lazy and incompetent. And because they’re stupid, they think it’s their responsibility to save the rest of us from common sense.

I mentioned a while back that CPS has been harassing me. Again.

The last time they showed up here, there was a woman, I think, missing a front tooth, that asked my five year old daughter how old she was and then asked her if she could “show me how many fingers that is.”

I damn near jumped her for being so stupid and insulting my daughter.

My five year old can count to at least two hundred, forward and backwards and by ones, twos or tens. I’m getting ready to start teaching her octal and binary.

And you think you’re testing her by asking her to show five fingers?!?! She could do that when she was TWO!!!!

YOU are the retard. Get a real education and a real job, stupid.

My five year old daughter is saying to me, “Daddy, that woman’s dumb.” What do I say to that? She’s right. “I know, dear. We have to tolerate a lot of that in this life. She works for the government.”

If you’re a moron, don’t fret. The government is always growing and they have a place for you, too.

Those who can, do. Those who can’t teach. Those that can’t even teach get other ridiculous jobs harassing decent people for the government.

Chris Moneymaker won the main event at the World Series of Poker in 2003. I’ve posted about him before and I’d like to follow up.

It was a fluke. He doesn’t even understand the game. He’s a home game player that got lucky.

I made the same initial assessment of Greg Raymer, the 2004 winner, and he has proved me wrong. But that hasn’t changed my opinion of Chris. I’m sure he’s a nice guy. I have nothing personal against him. But he sucks at poker. I would love to sit at a table with him.

There’s a commercial running for a poker web site where Chris Moneymaker says, “I didn’t learn poker from readin’ books or anything. I learned by playing.”

Yeah. It shows, Chris. You’ll be back to your accounting job in less than two years. I hope you didn’t extend your credit too far.

(He finished dead last in the “Poker Superstars Invitational” last time. I’m not sure why they invited him again, but he’s not doing any better. Maybe he should read a book.)

Winning the main event at the WSOP is almost meaningless these days. For that you can thank Chris.

But I’m not vilifying him. He is also the reason that poker has exploded and become profitable for everyone. Prior to Moneymaker’s win you had to be an actual “pro” to make money at the game. Now anyone can.

… that you’re nuts.

I just watched the final table of the 1998 World Series of Poker for about the sixth time. At about 5:00 in the morning. What a show. Eights full of nines on the board on the final hand… and that wasn’t good enough. Scotty’s still the man after all these years. (And damn you for continuing to replay it, ESPN!)

I’m rambling again.

But I realized just now while watching it that this might be an illness. It’s one thing to watch the modern WSOP tournaments or the WPT. It’s a whole ‘nother thing to sit through a tourney before they had “hole cams.” Back then, you didn’t know what anybody held unless there was an all-in bet. For a freak like me that’s almost more fun; I can test my reading skills.

But then I wonder about my sanity when I’m watching the same show for the sixth time. I could lay out every hand for you card by card, but it still draws me like moth to flame. I didn’t know what they had the first time I watched it… but maybe I have a problem now.

If you’d like to help, I’m looking for someone to stake me for this year’s WSOP. The main event will probably pay over $10 million and I’ll cash a couple of times before that. I only need about $50,000 to get me through the whole six weeks. They’ll probably have over fifty events and I’m a well rounded player. I can handle myself just as well at Seven Stud or Omaha as I do at no-limit Hold ‘Em. I can even do Razz if I’m forced to.

So, how ’bout it? Who’s got $50k they wanna turn into millions with no effort? C’mon! You’ll get to see your money on TV.

Tonight on the way home from the grocery store I had the following conversation with my daughters:

“I wish Mommy was here.”

“Why, honey?”

“Because then you could do your work and she could take care of us.”

(The child is only five years old and understands better than her mother does.)

“Yeah, that would be nice, dear. But that’s not how it is right now. Remember what I taught you about poker? You have to play the hand you’re dealt.”

“I know. (long pause) I wish we had a step-mommy.”

“WHAT?!?! You want a step-mother?!?”

“Yeah. At least there would be somebody to help you. She could take care of us while you did your work.” (Judging by her tone, I think she was more concerned about me than herself.)

(Other daughter) “But I wouldn’t want a step mother unless she was really nice, like Carol.” (Carol is the woman next door.) “I mean, we have a step-daddy in Georgia and he’s just mean. I like it here better.”

“I really just wish mommy would come back.”

Me, too, dear. Me, too.

If anybody knows what I’m supposed to say to that, please enlighten me. My daughters are priority number one to me and I often find myself in these situations where I’m left speechless because everything I want to say is inappropriate.

What I want to say is, “Tell your mother! She did this and it’s entirely up to her. If you’re suffering, it’s her fault!”