Digital Cowboy

The Brits are completely and totally worthless ever since we defeated them in 1783. Aside from the exceptions of Churchill and Monty Python, I can’t think of anything worthwhile they’ve contributed to the world in over two centuries.

When I point that out, they attack. That’s fine. My people have fought them before. They’re all sissies and I’ll be glad to take all comers – whether it’s here in “cyberspace” or in the real world. Now that guns are illegal where you pansies live, how do you expect to come at me?

The entire thing is silly. It’s unarmed girls against men.

They’re not a whole lot better than the French.

What do I get at your inevitable surrender?

(BTW, If you don’t want to be labeled as European, stop posting from France. Not to mention that Brit still looks like European to me. It’s splitting hairs. And you lose!)

Katie loves it when the NASCAR guys on Fox do the “Crank it up!” thing. She was pestering me about it when I was watching qualifying last week. (That’s on Speed Channel and they don’t do “Crank it up!”)

On Saturday, I was watching the Busch race and she asked me about it. I said, “No, Honey. This still isn’t Fox. This is FX.”

A few minutes later, they made a fool out of me. They did “Crank it up!” Being a good, loving daddy, I called Katie in from the other room and rewound it so she could “crank it up!”

I practically leaped off the couch. I have a 600 watt receiver and Bose speakers powering the surround. The volume knob is electronic and gauged to the speed with which you turn it. The right rear surround speaker was about 10 inches from my head when she spun the big knob hard and blasted 600 watts right into my ear.

The worst part is that it was so loud she couldn’t even hear me yelling at her to turn it down.

I wonder what the neighbors thought.

Then Emily said, “You were wrong, Dad. You said they didn’t do this.”

Perfect.

“Revenuer man wanted Granddaddy bad. Headed up the mountain with everything he had. He never came back from Copperhead Road.”

Mike apologizes for being Mike

I’ve talked about Mike Tyson here before. I love the guy and feel sorry for him. Cus was good for him but died before he could really bolster Mike against an evil world of exploitation.

Mike is extremely talented, hard working, and has a huge heart but he’s not all that smart. He means well, but he has deadly power in both hands and Cus never got to finish teaching him how to control it. Ever since Cus died, Mike has been exploited by everyone that could get to him.

The whole thing is damn sad and it’s highlighted by the sissies in England protesting him. It’s an amazing contrast. The english don’t have a man in the entire country and haven’t had one for decades. Mike is the ultimate untamed man.

I can’t help him, but someone should. If they slap a few englishmen in the process, so much the better.

If they were really as civilized as they vainly like to believe, they would be better hosts to a guest. They’re lucky to have him visit. They wouldn’t know a man if he came up to them and punched them in the face.

Maybe now would be a good time for Mike to throw down again.

Gonna change the way I think.

“Hey, puttin’ you down won’t square the deal.
Least ways, you’ll know what I feel.
Hey, take all the money in the bank.
I think I’ll just stay here and drink.

Listen close and you can hear,
That jukebox playin’ in my ear.
Ain’t no woman gonna change the way I think.
Think I’ll just stay here and drink.”

Maybe Karnal Promotions should try and sign him.

Censure or impeachment?

I don’t care. I found my jalapeno pickles on clearance a few days ago. I picked up two jars cheap.

There’s a president? Really? What’s he do?

I hear he’s supposed to be there to veto stuff. How many vetos have we had in five years?

Smells like a failure to me.