Digital Cowboy

Digital Cowboy
Poker is life. Life is poker.

A little shameless amusement

January 28th, 2006

I was cleaning out some very old stuff on my computer and ran across this. I have no idea where it originated, but I can certainly understand why I would’ve saved it. It made me chuckle more than once reading it just now.

“What I Learned in Hebrew School”
These were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e. incorrect spelling has been left in)

  • The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
  • The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
  • Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
  • The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
  • The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
  • Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
  • Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
  • David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
  • Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. [That sounds right to me - DC.]
  • Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
  • Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
  • It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
  • The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
  • St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
  • Most religions teach us to have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Posted in The Living Word at 10:37 PM • 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “A little shameless amusement”

  1. Thus saith Andrea on January 29th, 2006 at about 1:16 pm:

    Those rock, all of them.

    Holy acrimony, lol.

  2. Thus saith digitalcowboy on January 29th, 2006 at about 2:40 pm:

    The one about Mary’s “immaculate contraption” is, hands-down, my favorite.

  3. Thus saith Joelle on January 29th, 2006 at about 11:45 pm:

    I’m trying to picture what 700 porcupines would look like. LOL

  4. Thus saith heidi on January 30th, 2006 at about 1:38 am:

    unsympathetic Genitals

    I hate it when that happens.

  5. Thus saith Arielle on January 30th, 2006 at about 6:39 am:

    Thanks for the laugh, Cowboy. (See, I’m trying to avoid using DC now – even though it’s easier =P)

  6. Thus saith Andrea on January 30th, 2006 at about 8:39 pm:

    This list is making me laugh again :)

    Finkelsteins, lol….

  7. Thus saith Mark in OC on January 31st, 2006 at about 2:23 pm:

    It’s sad Moses never made it to Canada.

  8. Thus saith Serena on February 1st, 2006 at about 9:10 pm:

    That is SO funny! Thank you for a delightful laugh! I was needing it.
    Love and shalom,
    Serena