Digital Cowboy

It’s way past my bed time. But I couldn’t resist this one, especially after Res dissed Sammy and I realized I have a dangerous image to uphold:

“It’s my life,
Get off my ass.
Get outta my face.
Man!
I don’t see no problem.

Kickin’ back ain’t kickin’ you.
No, no.
And, anyway,
if I make ‘em
I’ll solve ‘em.

Makin’ plans’ a waste.
Ain’t no future here.
Got no faith,
Got no religion.

Tell me why.
Why should I
Cater to you?
Why should I try?

I’ll just slide.
Slide on by.
Never bad enough
To crucify me.

I’ll put it off until
judgment day.
I’ll bear the cross on
judgment day.”

I’m not sayin’ this is smart or theologically sound. It’s neither. But it’s honest and I get it. I understand. And here’s the part I really dig:

“I’ve done most anything,
To keep from doing anything.
‘Cause sometimes I just wanna do nothin’.

Nothin’ lost,
so tell me,
How can I lose?
When I’m startin’ out with nothin’?”

Two footnotes here. Sammy’s not as stupid as he looks and a lot of “Christians” could learn a thing or two about ministry here.

The second is a point of trivia. At the end of the song, it’s not just Sammy screaming that you think you hear. Michael Anthony was harmonizing with him. That’s why it sounds so good. I saw an interview with Sammy back when that album came out and he said that in the studio he started screaming that high note at the end and Michael just kinda joined in. Sammy was surprised. Michael chimed in and said that doing it wrecked his voice for a while.

It sure sounded pretty, though. That’s one of many reasons why they’re Van Halen and Judas Priest isn’t, Res.

You’re gonna have to try harder. I’m speaking to friends and enemies both here.

If you love me, stop apologizing for speaking your mind and if you’re trying to figure out how to hate me, give it up. You gave it everything you had and missed.

I appreciate the love and I’m man enough to take the abuse. Is it the reading or the comprehension where you’re lacking? I’ve told you more than once that you don’t have enough.

I’ve been living with me and beating on me for thirty-five years. Where’s the part where you think you figured out something new?

Is it easier for you to understand if I say it loud?

“YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH!”

I don’t run and I don’t hide. If you care at all about getting any respect from me you’ll do the same. Men stand and fight.

Cowards make up multiple names to lash out “anonymously” at people that don’t even care. I could delete your comments, if they mattered enough to me. I could’ve put this blog up at a domain that didn’t have my name on it.

That’s not what men do. I’m not hiding from anyone and you’re failing at hiding from me. Every time you post a comment here, I get an email with an IP address. It even has a cute little link that I can clickety-click to trace it.

It takes me about 5 seconds to find you cowards. Keep making up names and see if I care. You’re playing a silly, childish, pathetic, little game.

And you’re losing.

And just to solidify my standing as a dangerous lunatic:

Halford’s a hack. The man in black did this one in the sixties while that poseur was still in diapers:

“Early one mornin’ while makin’ the rounds
I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down
I went right home and I went to bed.
I stuck that lovin’ .44 beneath my head.

Got up next mornin’ and I grabbed that gun.
Took a shot of cocaine and away I run
Made a good run but I run too slow.
They overtook me down in Juarez, Mexico.

Laid in the hot joint, takin’ the pills,
in walked the sheriff from Jericho Hill.
He said, ‘Willy Lee, your name is not Jack Brown
You’re the dirty hack that shot your woman down.’
Said. ‘Yes. oh yes, my name is Willy Lee.
If you’ve got the warrant just read it to me.
Shot her down ’cause she made me slow
I thought I was her daddy but she had five more.’

When I was arrested I was dressed in black
They put me on a train and they took me back
Had no friend for to go my bail.
They slapped my dried up carcass in that county jail

Early next mornin’ ’bout a half past nine,
I spied the sheriff coming down the line.
He kinda coughed as he cleared his throat.
He said, ‘Come on you dirty hack, to the district court.’
Into the courtroom. My trial began,
Where I was held by twelve honest men.
Just before the jury started out,
I saw that dirty judge commence to look about.

In about five minutes in walked the man,
holding the verdict in his right hand.
The verdict read ‘In The First Degree.’
I hollered ‘Lordy, Lordy have mercy on me!’

The judge smiled as he picked up his pen.
99 years in the Folsom state pen.
99 years underneath that ground.
I can’t forget the day I shot that bad bitch down.

Come on you’ve gotta listen up to me!
Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.”

OK. I think I’ve got it now. I’m a deeply troubled stalker that needs to look inward for the source of my troubles, stop blaming others and seek professional help.

Thanks for the free diagnosis, doctors. I’m glad you’ve all figured out why I’m “alone.”

Y’all need to lighten up and when you’ve figured that out, take a look in the mirror.

In fear’s an ugly place to live.