Listen to me, guys.
November 30th, 2005I know what I’m talking about. I’m not sayin’ it’s bad. But here’s da ting ya gotta know:
When a woman moves all-in, she’s never bluffin’. Broads don’t know how to bluff. Ya got to get dat tru yer tick heads. A bunch of ‘em don’t even know how to read the cards.
Dont’cha never call unless you mean to be all da way in.. ‘Cause dat’s where you’ll be if you make da mistake of tinkin’ a woman’s bluffin’. Dey go all-in, you get starry-eyed, and the next ting ya know – Boom. Ya got nuttin’. She went all-in and you ain’t got nuttin’ but a bad beat story to tell.
But I was just talking about finishing second in a poker tournament to a young mother. It was all analogy. Seriously.
She was quite charming and I’m sure by now you’ve all realized that I was only kidding when I made my original slogan, “Poker is life and life is poker.”
“When a woman moves all-in, she’s never bluffin’.”
Guess what, a mate from high school has had a girl living in his house that he bought last year, and now they broke up, so I tell him why the hell is she still living with him? He turns to my other mate and mentions how I don’t even know the story… I’m like, bitch, here’s the story, women will try anything to get inside your pad and take over, these reasons will be fantastical and brilliant in construction, it will leave you and her with little choice but for her to move in! And then I told him, it’s like white ants, good luck, you’re going to need it.
And then I find out she’s got kids too! Not his! WTF? What a loser, that’s all I can say, he got SHAFTED. And now he thinks he’s a cold heartless bastard… give a man some women-rope, and he will hang himself.
Oh, I realised I told this story earlier…. when I was pissed. Oh well, two times a charm!