Digital Cowboy

If I haven’t alienated or offended you in the last week, please pipe up below and let me know. It would be helpful if you also let me know what is your hot-button issue.

I can rant about anything and I don’t want anyone to be left out.

I’ve been pretty cavalier about the lyrics since I started the category. Can’t push your kids out there… and all that.

Here’s some that I won’t need to rewind to get right:

“Well, my name’s John Lee Pettimore.
Same as my daddy and his daddy before.
Hardly ever saw grand-daddy down here.
Only came to town about twice a year.

He’d buy a hundred pounds of yeast and some copper line.
Everybody knew that he made moonshine.

Now the revenuer man wanted grand-daddy bad.
Headed up the holler with everything he had.
Was before my time, but I’ve been told,
He never came back from Copperhead Road.”

Heidi can probably fill in the middle. Here’s the money-shot:

“Now the DEA’s got a chopper in the air.
I wake up screamin’, like I’m back over there.
But I learned a thing or two from Charlie, don’t ya know.
You better stay away from Copperhead Road.”

“And then that judge looked at me and said,
‘Why’d ya wanna go and rob a liquor store?’
‘Well, your honor, it’s kinda hard to live in Dallas
When you’re white trash and poor.’”

Screw it. I fold.

I never should’ve been sittin’ at this table anyway. Gimme my money for these chips and you can be rid of me.

Them crazy leftists that run most of the media just ran a story on the “predatory” recruiting tactics of the Marine Corps. Quote from the story: “It’s war time. People are dying.” That was a silly little girl trying to convince a real man and an immigrant, incidentally, that he’d done something ignorant by signing up to serve. No reason he shouldn’t believe her. She’s got a college degree! Surely she’s smarter than him!

How many of those are there out there and how hard are they to get? (College degrees, not college girls. I know the girls are easy.)

Uh-huh. That’s what I thought. I can get one by email tomorrow.

Stupid is the new smart. You can get it, too if you give around 20k a year to people that are either too lazy or too stupid to earn a living honestly.

Just to be complete, I’ll finish with this:

At the end of the “interview,” the really dumb blonde looked into the eye of a man in uniform and actually asked with conviction, “Why did you sign up? Was it the promise of college tuition?”

“No. There is respect in a uniform. Where I grew up, a man is respected when he carries a rifle and risks his life to defend what he believes in.”

“Back to you, Other Vacant Pretty Face.”

Any more questions?

Schooling is popular, education takes work and neither “courage” or “smart” can be bought. Stuff all that in your pipes, intellectuals.

Stupid is as stupid does. I give up. You win. For now.

But it might be a good idea for y’all to start a class on “.45 Twirlin’.” Ya already got classes on every variation of popular culture including “LBGT” lifestyles or sensitivity to some such. Step out of a classroom, find a clue and get ready. Most of ya, including the ones that think otherwise, ain’t men. Not even those dykes that dress like it and like to pretend.

Out here in the real world, men are still men.

And we’ve had just about enough of your pansy bullshit, delicate flowers.

“… And I’ll tell you what we’ll do.
We’re gonna twist them lids and
Hope our kids,
Look more like me
than you.

You’re not the best,
But you’re the best I can do.”