Digital Cowboy

Digital Cowboy
Poker is life. Life is poker.

My gay post

October 2nd, 2005

I’ve been threatening to do this for a while and I have nothing to lose because I don’t care what insecure men think. My masculinity is well established. So, even though I could never be homosexual because I think penises are ugly and also taste funny, I now give you my list of the ten hottest guys ever.

First is certainly Adam Cartwright. (There’s no rule that they can’t be fictional, is there?) Usually dressed in black, handsome, smart, educated, kind and rich. Fast with a gun but judicious about it’s use. What’s not to like?

Second would have to be Sonny Crockett. It’s another fictional one, I realize. But he is the classic bad boy. And he has a Ferrari. Or two. And a couple boats – one to live on and a fast one to make Colombian runs. And he smokes Luckys. Again, what’s not to like? I didn’t even mention the pretty hair and the gravelly voice.

Third… Lemme think. I do dig Remington Steele and Pierce sure is suave and pretty. I guess he’s third. He’s also the only one that could contend with Connery for best Bond ever.

Fourth…. I just realized, I’m not gonna get ten. At least not today. Fourth would probably be Elliot Sadler. For those of you that are deprived of southern culture, he’s a NASCAR driver. He’s pretty and has both class and a great Virginian accent. He also has that gritty, redneck je ne se quois that we chicks… Ahem… you chicks dig so much. You’ll clean him up, polish him and turn him into a sophisticated gentleman, right? Good luck with that.

Fifth… I reckon I’ll have to continue this later. There’s just not that many guys that I’ve got the hots for. Fifth will probably be Craig Ferguson, though. That’s one charming and funny Scotsman!

Now do your worst. I can take it. Main difference between me and the men who would criticize me is that I’m more honest. I can afford to be because I’m fearless.

Posted in General at 2:27 PM • 28 Comments »

28 Responses to “My gay post”

  1. Thus saith Difster on October 2nd, 2005 at about 2:55 pm:

    I could never be homosexual because I think penises are ugly and also taste funny…

    And how is it that you know they taste funny?

  2. Thus saith Joelle on October 2nd, 2005 at about 3:06 pm:

    I was wondering that myself! LOL
    I can’t say that any of your four are on my list. But hey, each woman (and man) is different! As far as women I think are hot (since you are setting the standard I’ll only do four), here in no particular order:
    1) Angelina Jolie
    2) Kate Winslet
    3) Kiera Knightly
    4) Shakira

  3. Thus saith Serena on October 2nd, 2005 at about 6:42 pm:

    DC, One thing for sure – you just never know what to expect from you! LOLOL! I think you had lots of fun with that one. You trying to get a reaction out of folks and make things more exciting around here? I think I’ll leave this one for my husband to mess with.
    Love and shalom,
    Serena

  4. Thus saith Lisa on October 2nd, 2005 at about 7:55 pm:

    Yeah – on the “taste funny” question –

    Did you learn this by word of mouth (hee hee) or personal experience?

    Joelle, Joelle. I can’t believe DC tells me I should stay away from Arielle because “she’s a very, very bad influence,” when here you are putting out (hee hee) your list. (Now we know what your type is, I guess. I’m curious as to who else is on your list.)

    Major :P at you, sis.

  5. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 2nd, 2005 at about 8:45 pm:

    Ya’ll sure are easy. Toss out some bait, set the trap and just wait to see who’s caught first.

    Why am I not surprised that it was Dif?

    Early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

  6. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 2nd, 2005 at about 8:50 pm:

    Oh, and also, Joelle, I don’t even really know 3 and 4 on your list. I’ve never even heard of Kiera Knightly. I’ll google her later. (Insert Beavis laugh here.)

    Angelina Jolie was hot until I got to know her. As is unfortunately the case with so many beautiful women, that broad’s NUTS!

  7. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 2nd, 2005 at about 8:53 pm:

    And it sure is nice to have Lisa around.

    I love Serena and all her friends/family/lovers/spawn.

  8. Thus saith Serena on October 2nd, 2005 at about 9:05 pm:

    LOLOLOL!!!!!

    Friends? Family? Lovers? Spawn?

    Gotta love ya, DC! ;)

    Love and shalom,
    Serena

  9. Thus saith Joelle on October 2nd, 2005 at about 9:10 pm:

    Mwa ha ha! Spawn. I like that. I’ll have to change my moniker to Crazy Spawn.

  10. Thus saith Lisa on October 2nd, 2005 at about 9:43 pm:

    Don’t forget “Psuedo-Spawn,” since I’m Joelle’s “pseudo-sis.” Much laughin’ out loud. (On that subject, what the heck is “LOLOLOL?” I get LOL, and LOLOL, but… huh? [Like I told Bane, I'm so new at this, my forehead's shiny. :) ] )

    AND on a different subject, it sure is nice to be nicely had here (or most comfortable places, for that matter). :D

  11. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 2nd, 2005 at about 9:51 pm:

    Lisa. Dear, nobody will even notice your forehead if you don’t point it out.

    As for the end of your last comment, since I’ve been in a very goofy, Beavis-like mode for a couple of days now, I can’t respond to that without having to repent.

    So… Welcome.

  12. Thus saith Lisa on October 2nd, 2005 at about 10:14 pm:

    My bad. I should get out of that mode myself, so I don’t cause a brother to stumble. (Thanks for the gentle correction.)

    Smiles, and thanks.

  13. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 2nd, 2005 at about 10:16 pm:

    I stumble some but it’s never your fault, darlin.’

    Just be you. That’s always OK around here.

  14. Thus saith theantenna on October 2nd, 2005 at about 10:43 pm:

    DC,

    Thanks for a laugh! I understand where you’re coming from – I really enjoy seeing beautiful women. Guys sometimes find that a little weird, but for me it isn’t sexual. It’s like seeing a cardinal, or a beautiful sunset, or an adorable child. I just appreciate their beauty!

    Prettiest woman ever? (Okay, just in my opinion)

    Audrey Hepburn. Boy, did I wish I could look like that! So beautiful, graceful, elegant and winsome! I don’t know what she was like in reality, but on screen she projected such a cute personality!

    AND WHEN DID DC SAY YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM ME BECAUSE I’M A BAD INFLUENCE?! That’s a compliment and I missed it! =P

  15. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 2nd, 2005 at about 10:47 pm:

    Sorry, you missed it, Beautiful. That was a conversation at Bane’s.

    Lisa said she had been lurking there for a while and blamed it on you. I told her you were a bad influence and lurking around Bane’s house is certainly proof!

  16. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 2nd, 2005 at about 10:50 pm:

    Oh… and Audrey was hot but she couldn’t possibly compete with Myrna Loy. She was not just beautiful, she was also cute. That’s the magic combination.

    Sound cute and look glamorous. That’ll make me growl every time.

  17. Thus saith theantenna on October 2nd, 2005 at about 11:14 pm:

    I don’t know who Myrna Loy is.

    I always though Audrey Hepburn was cute. I guess it means something different to a guy. =)

    Heck, Lisa’s a few years older than I am. Don’t be so sure that I’m the bad influence. =D

  18. Thus saith Morris on October 2nd, 2005 at about 11:31 pm:

    Myrna Loy was a little too baby-faced for me in her early years, but as she aged she became more beautiful and definitely growl-worthy.

  19. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 3rd, 2005 at about 1:07 am:

    Oh, yes, Morris, but she was the whole package.

    She looked great and could sound cute, too. With drama or comedy.

    That’s the magic combo I was talking about.

  20. Thus saith Joelle on October 3rd, 2005 at about 11:08 am:

    Had to google Myrna Loy. That always makes me feel like a big geek – oh, wait, I am a geek!
    She was beautiful, that’s for sure, in a pixie-ish way. She had a horrible life, though. Four failed marriages, etc. Looks aren’t everything!

  21. Thus saith Inquiring Minds on October 3rd, 2005 at about 1:00 pm:

    Ingrid Bergman. ‘Nuf said.

    As to the topic at hand:
    “Rick? Well, mademoiselle, Rick is the kind of man that, if I were a woman, I would be in love with him.”

  22. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 3rd, 2005 at about 3:00 pm:

    Ingrid was certainly beautiful, but I doubt she could pull off comedy. I just can’t sleep with a woman that’s not funny. I have standards. Great ref, though, IM. There’s always bonus points for good movie quotes around here.

    And I’m still tryin’ to figure out what Joelle meant by “in a pixie-ish way.” Hot is hot. It need not be classified, Philistine!

  23. Thus saith heidi on October 3rd, 2005 at about 8:54 pm:

    Wow, I’m gone for a few days and you guys go and have fun without me. :(

    So… I’ll list my top five picks of beautiful men & women…

    1. Benjamin Bratt
    2. Viggo Mortenson
    3. Mel Gibson
    4. Chang Chen (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon)
    5. Humphrey Bogart

    1. Joan Crawford
    2. Marlene Dietrich
    3. Isabella Rosselini
    4. Liv Tyler
    5. Milla Jovovich

    There! Better late than never!

  24. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 3rd, 2005 at about 9:05 pm:

    That’s what ya get for ignoring us, Heidi.

    Also, I should warn you that my infatuation with you is dying because we have very, very different taste in women. Clearly we’re incompatible.

  25. Thus saith heidi on October 3rd, 2005 at about 9:07 pm:

    Ignoring? I went over the mountains to Bane’s neck of the woods and tried to avoid lesbians. I’m just glad to be home. :)

  26. Thus saith digitalcowboy on October 3rd, 2005 at about 9:10 pm:

    You’re so durn cute!

  27. Thus saith Rick on October 3rd, 2005 at about 9:22 pm:

    DC…you certainly are a brave man to do a “gay post”. Your choice of men is also interesting since you certainly went for the “package” that most gay men would have gone for. As to the taste only a gay man perhaps have had such a taster’s choice.
    Now as personally having walked this over 20 yrs, perhaps you are a metro-sexual? LOL. Anyway you just crack me up and it made for such an experience that is rather freeing. Most secure type males would never admit to such things even the Difster’s, LOL…..

  28. Thus saith DigitalCowboy » Blog Archive » Dif’s only half wrong on December 19th, 2005 at about 11:40 am:

    [...] And then expect to hold your own on-screen next to hot women and hotter guns and Ferraris and one of the sexiest men that ever worked in Hollywood. [...]