Sweet repentance
September 19th, 2005I’ve taken a couple of days off from blogging, commenting and chatting because it suddenly became apparent to me that my house was out of order. Once again. I spent the first part of the last 48 hours or so just crying out to God begging for His help and most of the latter repenting and getting things straightened out with Daddy.
After whining and begging like a baby off and on for a couple hours, I finally wised up and said, “Father, where have I missed it? I know better than this and I know that the lack of response I’m getting from You isn’t Your fault. Show me everywhere I’ve missed it and how I got to this point where You seem so distant when I feel like I need You the most.”
He’s faithful. When you finally ask the right question, He gives you an immediate response and it will be thorough, too.
He showed me all of it, I repented and He immediately responded, “It’s OK, son. Let’s get you patched up and move on. We’ve got work to do.” He is so good. All the time.
I’m sharing this because, though some of what He showed me is none of your business, some of the rest directly relates to y’all that are regular readers around here. I feel foolish and ashamed now at what this blog has become over recent weeks. It’s ugly and I didn’t even realize it was happening. I’ve shared before that even though I didn’t realize it at the time, Daddy started this blog for a reason. For a long time it was quite beautiful and I’ve allowed it to become contaminated at the same time that I allowed myself to be contaminated.
The other reason I’m sharing this is that how it happened is a hard lesson that I’ve already had to learn more than once and maybe by repeating what many of you already know, I can be a reminder and save you some grief.
It all happened very subtly and I didn’t even see it. It was so gradual. Channel surfing or watching reruns of “Bonanza” instead of the great Christian programming that feeds me. Through a series of individual and seemingly insignificant changes, I went from having praise and worship playing in four different rooms of my house 24/7 a couple of months ago, to having none playing over the last couple of weeks. At the same time, I was immersing myself in chat and blog commenting. It was all with wonderful Christian people, but it was also one of the things taking my time away from the Word. Also, again, without me even noticing.
When I asked God to show me what was blocking me from being able to receive from Him, Holy Spirit simply said two words. “Unrepented sin.” That baffled me because I had already taken inventory. So I asked for clarification and was immediately sent to Proverbs 4:20-27, specifically verse 21. And then to a few of the many other places we are commanded to keep His Word always before us.
Oops. Yeah. I messed up there, huh? If anything in your life has become more important than the Word, you’re headed for destruction.
This blog has certainly been showing it. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks and I have been putting mostly junk in there for a while now. When I scrolled back down this page tonight I realized there’s been mostly silliness and junk here for quite a while. But Daddy and are square again now. I’ve gotten my priorities back in order and it will start to be reflected here, effective immediately.
Glad to hear it, brother. He is always Faithful! Thank you for sharing His workings in your life and for the reminder to seek Him first.
Love and shalom,
Serena
Dude, I had a pastor tell me, that religion, and Christianity in particular, is like a basketball. Look at one, and on the side it says 9 – 11 pounds PSI. Now, under 9, and you struggle just to keep it dribbling. Over 11 and it’s out of control. Same with your faith. Under 9 and you struggle to live it, and you need to get some “puff” put back in you. Over 11 and your emotions are totally out of control, and you need to check yourself.
Everybody gets out of the range, but G-d will always bring us back in. Just Praise Him, and it’s all good.
G-d bless ya brother.
I’ve been realizing lately that I’ve got to be careful with all my blogging, since I can easily let it take top priority over God, my hubby, my son, and my home.
Thanks for being so open and honest. Isn’t God so good to help us when we ask?
I can so relate to this. I had the same conversation a few weeks ago.(with God and my husband) God is good, forgiving and into restoration. :)
Onward and upward!
wow…flashback to bible camp, sixth grade and acne. good for you all for having such deep faith, but i must ask, “How in the world do you allow your blog to take over your life?”
I’m just curious.
It is a slow decline, innit? One day you know you’re basking in Daddy’s love, and then suddenly you realize you’ve been pushing Him away. I’m like that… its a struggle. I feel like a little kid, wants to do everything herself but still have Dad watch. “See, see are you looking?” *sigh*
good for you all for having such deep faith, but i must ask, “How in the world do you allow your blog to take over your life?”
It’s not faith, darlin’. It’s a relationship that’s just too easy to ignore because He never, ever demands. Everything else in your life either demands attention or entices you to give your time, but He never will do either one. He’s a gentleman and will always just wait patiently until you’re ready to talk.
You can have it, too, btw. There’s nothing more special about any of us than there is about you.
As to your question, I never said that blogging had taken over my life but lemme fire the question back, “How’d you let something ‘take over your life’ to the point that God’s love is being ignored?”
I’ve struggled with this as well. It’s so fun to have an outlet that you can soon be overwhelmed with your own priorities and not your own. Also, I confess that I write things on the net that I would never say. Well, if no unwholesome word proceeds out of my mouth, then it shouldn’t off of my keyboard either. But, sometimes I can’t resist making the inside joke with myself at the sake of holiness.
So, God is good. And He never fails. That’s why repentance is sweet, isn’t it?
I meant :your own priorities and not His.
Also, Happy Birthday. I know you have a birthday this month. So, How old are you?
I think we all struggle with this, from time to time. Thing is, we are in a spiritual war, and when we insist on stepping out from under the protection of His ‘everlasting arms’ we may well get smacked around somewhat. But He is always patient, loving, merciful, kind, and never turns away the contrite heart. The Saviour *never* breaks a bruised reed.