Defining masculinity
June 19th, 2005I’m late delivering on this promise, but I said I would address the question of what makes a man.
Put simply, Christ-likeness and masculinity are synonymous. You can try to complicate it any way you want, but you’ll be wrong.
In a recent (rambling and unrelated) blog post, Matildah made reference to Christ as the “Perfect Man.” It’s very difficult to argue with that title and if you accept it, then you must accept that he is the standard.
So then, what is he like? Just as important, how close are you to that ideal? Let’s look at what he was like when he was on earth.
Could he “hold his liquor.” Yup. In fact, the Pharisees at one point accused him of being a drunk. (Matthew 11:19)
Did he defend what he believed even to the point of violence? Yup. (John 2:15)
Was he an anti-weapons pacifist? Nope. He said if you have no sword, sell your clothes to buy one. (Luke 22:36)
He was a carpenter and spent most of his life as an apprentice in the trade so he knew how to use tools and was most likely a master craftsman.
He was also a smart ass (when warranted) and was not afraid to take down a challenger harshly in a debate.
Sounds like a traditional definition of masculinity to me.
But there’s much more to him that is often overlooked by the chest-beating macho neanderthals of today. What’s sad is that some of them even consider themselves Christians. Most of them probably don’t know the Bible well enough to build the superficial case I just did for their silly ideas and know nothing of his most important characteristics.
He was also wise and meek and humble and patient and compassionate and generous. Those qualities all came from the spirit within. He had all the outward masculinity that insecure men beat their chests and spout about today. But he had something much stronger than that inside because he understood the spirit realm, his own human spirit, and how much more important that is than knowing how to build something or fight or “hold your liquor.”
Any man that feels a need to prove his masculinity is either ignorant or insecure. Often, the two go hand in hand.
He was also fearless. Not courageous. Fearless. Fear is weakness and completely un-masculine. Good luck banishing fear from your life completely without understanding your spiritual place.
UPDATE: I just got around to catching up with Tent Pegs and, once again he has said what I meant much better than I did. Dig around there a little. I doubt that I agree with him on everything, but he’s a fine example of a “real man.”
I was just going to mention Tent Pegs. He has had some excellent posts up lately on manhood. I gave my husband his most recent about his wife’s picture and told him today that he is a man like that. And he is. I am really blessed with a man who has learned what true manhood is the hard way throughout life. I am enjoying what the Potter is molding and love him immensely. He didn’t have a dad because he died when he was 8 and didn’t learn a lot of what macho men define manhood by, but he trusts in his Father and abandons himself to Him and because of that he is a true man. He treats me like gold and I have no problem submitting to a man who loves me the way he does (and not just in bed, either, but everyday by how he lives his life and it all is wonderful!) He is a great father, too. His children clamor to sit by daddy at meals or to hold his hand when we are out. He reads stories to them every day and holds them whenever he gets a chance. They know their daddy loves them.
Anyway, when I recently told my husband about what some of the men have written on here and especially on Elena’s blog, he told me that they were insecure in their masculinity and that is why they were acting that way. I’m proud of my husband because he has gone back to college in his 50′s and is working to get a degree so he can counsel men (and broken, addicted women, too) and help them to be what Father wants them to be. He is getting the world’s credentials but doesn’t want to use the pshyco-babble that he is being taught. He knows the only One who can set them free and the power of His blood. He knows that is the only thing that set him free and wants to help others. Because of their insecurities and because of their sin there are so many men addicted to so many different things, with the main ones being sex, drugs, and alcohol and they need to know that One who can set them free from those addictions and make them strong and godly men.
Thanks for your post, brother. It was excellent! May our Father bless you and your family!
Love and shalom,
Serena
Aren’t men and women alike supposed to be Christ-like?
Good post, DC.
Darlin’ Joy, good question. Good blog topic.
Serena, beautifully put.
Aren’t men and women alike supposed to be Christ-like?
Yes. I don’t think I implied otherwise.
The topic of this post was defining what masculinity is.
“the Pharisees at one point accused him of being a drunk.”
I get that too, I’m Christ-like. But he said not to worry, that those who accuse me of stuff, they accused him first.
I drink beers knowing I have the divine protection – I put on my helmet of salvation, robe myself in his righteousness, and crack out the tinnies for the cricket.
Tinnies? That would be canned (or “tinned”) food? Or tennis shoes (ie. sneakers)?
DC, please excuse an off-topic post — I thought to email it to you, but did not see an address listed.
Thought you might be amused that the American Film Institute released their list of top 100 movie quotes, and neither “Huckaberry” nor “Huckleberry” was on it.
Tinnies are cans of beer… Cheers :-)
I saw it on TV, Waterboy. (Longest I’ve watched network TV in years.) It was more of their opinions of the greatest movies than the greatest quotes. My top 100 quotes would be very different from theirs, though I do agree with them in the prominence of Casablanca and To Have and Have Not. The latter is one of the most under-rated movies in history.
But you also missed the PROPER Tombstone quote twice in one comment.
It’s “hucklebearer.”
HA!
}:-)
(For future reference, the email address is digitalcowboy at mac.com or anything you choose at markjshaw.net.)
I don’t know where you came from Morris, but I’m glad you’re around. I can use a few more Aussies around here to balance the non-Texan, American pansies that come here.
Thanks, Morris. I figured it had to be y’all’s word for can, whether the beverage or the food variety of can.