Hush, hush. Keep it down, down…
February 22nd, 2005I was just out on my back deck enjoying the beautiful north Texas weather right after dark. The stars are indeed nice tonight.
I could clearly overhear a conversation, that I joined in progress, coming from the neighbor’s back porch:
Guy 1: “Dude, that’s gotta be it. Look how much brighter it is than all the other stars.”
Guy 2: “I’m telling you that’s not it.”
Guy 3: “The North star is in the north, right? Is that north?”
Guy 2: “No! That’s why I’m saying that can’t be it.”
Guy 1: “That is too north.”
Guy 2: “No it’s not! Is it?”
Guy 1: “Then what direction is that, genius? It’s north to somebody and I’m tellin’ you that’s the North star.”
Guy 3: “He’s gotta point, dude. It’s north to somebody and look how bright that thing is.”
Guy 2: “Whatever. Maybe it is.”
Guy 1: “Man, you’re stupid, dude.”
The best part: The house sits right next to mine and they both face almost perfectly north. These guys, like me, were on their back porch, facing their back yard and staring at the southern sky… in TEXAS!
I lied. Here’s the best part: When I finally figured out what they were talking about, I discovered it was moving… and ascending pretty quickly. It was a commercial jet that had just left DFW (which is about 30 miles or so from us) and still had it’s very bright landing/takeoff lights on. In their defense, it was pretty bright.
They’re all really good guys and college graduates, too.
Brother-in-Law #1 (a lawyer): You signed this contract already. I told you to never sign anything before I look at it. What do you need a three million dollar life insurance policiy for anyway. Your children are grown, your house is paid off and you have no wife.
Brother-in-Law #2: Don’t you get it? I’m trying to tell you.(he pauses for emphasis) I put myself as the beneficiary.
Brother-in-law #1: Yes, but you have to die!?!?! in order to collect.
Brother-in-Law #2: Oh, man.
Ummmm? I wonder who told them that the north star was one of the brightest in the first place?
Y’know, I have to confess that I am very bad with directions. Especially at night. I get turned around very easily. Mind you, knowing what direction my house faces would probably save me from making a silly ass of myself like those guys. =)
Hmmmmmm.
What point exactly was I trying to make with that last comment?
My relatives are more stupid than your neighbors?
Hmmmmmm.
Yep, that about sums it up.
Wait, wait… those were really your relatives? Good lord, I thought it was just a joke!
Oh no, honey. You just can’t make something like that up.